Ornaments

It is soo close to Christmas its not even funny, I havn't even done my Christmas shopping yet.
But It obviously needs to get done this week, I just live for Christmas -_-.

I wish it would snow I mean as sick of the cold as I am and as much it is a pain in the ass to drive in,
I feel like Christmas is not Christmas without it, I dont think I could ever move to a place like Florida or California.
So very sad without snow.

Work party on Friday, still have to work lol, but we'll try to bang out our assignments so we can spend the rest of the time chillaxing.

Gorged!

  Yet again, I have gone on a diet just to end up screwing it up and going back to my regular eating pattern.
I need to stop this, I have a motivation but obviously im not motivated enough to do it.

I dont necessarily want to starve myself but thats the one way I lose weight really. I can't do a raw diet, There is a part of me that is carnivourous and has a desire for meat, and there is no way in hell im eating raw meat lol.

Fish maybe because I've found that to be quite delicious if made right but meat no. Sorry.  Not happening. Not in this lifetime. I just need to find something that works for me. Work does not help much there is so much to eat there.
Especially around Christmas, thats when the chocolate, the cookies, etc etc, start to come in. 

Anxiety

  John and I hung out again last week I drove up to Conneticutt, which is an hour drive from here, but it wasnt a bad drive, it was quiet and nice it wasnt a busy highway but an off road.

We went out to a mexican place cant remember what it was called Cafe mariachi or something like that but it was authentic mexican food, messy as hell, I felt so weird everytime he tried to talk to me I had something falling out of my mouth lol. But very good nothing like On the border which is bland, the only thing I like there is the chips and salsa.

Then we went to his apartment watched Rent and I left, it was getting dark and it was my first real drive there, I was nervous about the darkness and what not.

I will definetely stay longer next time,

Im such an awkward person, I really wish I could just come out of my shell and be me but I cant, It takes me a very long time to get to know someone where I can actually be myself, but im afraid that puts people off sometimes.
Prevents me from making friends I stick with.

We definetely have different tastes when it comes to movies, compared to my friends I thought I had the most exotic tastes but his library was just WOW, lots of movies with no name actors lol. Im open to new things though.
So if he wants to hang out with me again we'll definetely have to watch one of his movies.

I was suppose to hang out with him and his friends today, but my mother the paranoid buddhist, is all "Im afraid your going to get in accident, your luck bad this year,"

Its like shes trying to prevent me from getting into a car accident that probably wont happen, we were suppose to go to Providence which she thinks is busy, traffic, night time what not. Her paranoia is preventing me from having a life.
It's annoying. I really need to get my own car. In my name.

Dead ipod

My Ipod is dead, it died 2 days ago, it just stopped working, would not charge on my computer so I used a wall adaptor and managed to charge it to where it was red, but as soon as I took it off the power promptly shut down.

So I guess its not so much my Ipod is dead as the battery is. Im going to have to order one, and replace it myself.
As I replaced the last one myself, Apple wont replace my battery. Which is fine by me because their service costs $59 and they erase all of your songs, so if your like me and have 700 + songs on your Ipod, bye bye songs.

Im still playing Dragon Age: Origins  on my 360 I really played it a little too much last time so much so I got sick of it and put it down for awhile but I recently went back to it, Im wondering if Assassins Creed 2 is worth trying at all havnt read any reviews on it yet. 

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So, I went to the mall last week and ended up getting my PSP, which is in pristine condition as promised.
It took me a few hours to figure out how to get games on it, but I was successful! Bought 2 memory sticks for it.
Im happy yay!

Psplite

I really need to charge my camera. I would have taken a picture of it had I charged it.. but the picture above is basically what it looks like, its even lighter than a ds lite. which is pretty light in itself.

Another reason I need to charge my camera is I might be going out this weekend to visit John in Conn!
It could be a possible photographic opportunity.

Im still thinking it over but Im really thinking of going, its nice to get out and do something different for a change.
Not to mention I havnt been on a road trip in a long time.

He also invited me to hang out with some of his friends from Virginia, idk. I might just hang with him for now. 

He told me about some mexican place near his apartment we might try out. Which should be nice, Mexican food is awesome.

I've begun to realize just how much I can be independent, that I can be alone and still be happy. These past few weeks have been good, and I've been really comfortable. I used to live in a world where I thought I needed to be with someone to be happy, but I've started to realize that I can be on my own and still retain the same happiness.

If someone comes along im not going to shy away from it, but im not going after it either, if it happens ok.

But Im at a point in my life where I want to stop jumping from relationship to relationship, I need to just be me for awhile.

In other news im getting a haircut at some point this weekend!
My hair is short but I just want it styled.. definetely thinned out. My hair is too thick.
I've been looking at different types of styles but im going more for the "Asian girl" look.

Cute thin

Asian-emo-girl5

Kind of the same look except longer and thicker, I want mine really thin though, hair gets thick fast.

Cutehair

This is cute too and might go better for the shorter look.

Sceneemohairstyle_longlayered

  <3 this without the bangs. She has lips like mine!

Thinking of going to this place called Hairspray on Wickendon in Providence, they seem like a good place that'll be able to do this style. No one local ever does what I want -_-.

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To get a PSP. Yes Ive caved in. My friend Jon (BitWarri0r) brought his PSP when we met.
Which was a lot of fun, I took some pictures of our delicious food with my phone but im trying to figure out how to upload them.

Pspsilver2000

My camera died. So pissed about that because everything looked BUT TASTED better.
 
Seriously, I love sushi. This place was amazing Wasabi in Johnston. The bill was pretty high but it was worth it!
Then we went to Barnes and Noble which turned out ehh...board games I dont know seems neat but hours of playing gets boring after awhile, so we cut it short, but we plan on meeting again next week hopefully.

We got along really well. :)

But anyway back to the PSP, I tried his, the graphics were so sharp and the psp actually felt really comfortable in my hands his is a PSP 2000 slim. I've always used the demo kiosks but its just not the same as fully holding it and fiddling with it in your hands.

I played Me and my katamari, which proves to me to be as good as the PS2/Xbox360 version.

Psplite

  I guess my main reason for getting one is knowing it can be modded, so I can get various games for free.
It will save me a lot of money in the long run.

That and I have heard its improved quite a bit since it first came out, when it first came out all I heard was bad things about it which turned me off from buying one, but the battery life has since improved.

Im buying a PSP Silver 2000 from a guy on Craigs list, its already been modded which will save me a lot of time and headache. He says its like new, has the charger, im going to try before I buy obviously.

I set down a price of $100 so we're going to meet at the tilt Friday to make the exchange.
The only thing I need to buy on the side is memory a screen protector and very possibly a skin from gela skins

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Ok normally I'm a skeptic when it comes to this kind of thing, but this picture freaked me out a little,
Although with things like Photoshop, you never know.

Ghosts

Ghosts clearly also like to wear, button down shirts.

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Smile =)

Did you know that a lot of people who commit suicide, often do it over small problems that could likely be easily solved or overcome if given time.

Im feeling much better since my last post.
I think its just all about time, I've come to realize that life isnt all about getting married and having kids.
It's doing stuff along the way, every life is different and its just not my turn yet =).

So tomorrow, is going to be an adventurous day, I met this guy online, his name is John/BitWarri0r.
We've known each other for a few months now, have been exchanging e-mails back and forth but never really talked to an extent till recently.

He's been egging me about hanging out over and over again. I kept turning him down,
 mostly due to self consciousness, paranoia, social anxiety.

But we've been talking for hours on end and he finally ended up convincing me to go hang out with him.
Im excited about it because we are going out for Sushi and I never met someone who's liked sushi before.
and im nervous because, I havn't actually met anyone new or talked to anyone new in ...years.

and when I mean new I dont mean like boyfriend wise I mean people wise, I dont meet a lot of new people and try to get to know them, so this is really a stretch for me.

We're going just as friends, its not a date, I dont know when I'll be ready to date again, Every relationship I came out of I jumped right back into a new one, and I think I need to take this time to really just relax, and figure myself out before I can share myself with anyone else.

Dan and I are still the best of friends we talk every night, Sunday we're going to a used bookstore =), excited about that too! Need to double check with him make sure we're still going though.

We are going to Wasabi in Johnston, its a real sushi place, im super psyched.
Then we're going to Barnes and Noble in Smithfield to play some board games.


So I guess in thought of that. There are a lot of sushi I dont know the name of but im really anxious to try all the strange ones, so I thought I'd post some of them just incase any of you ever decide to go out for sushi yourselves!

Caliroll

This is California roll, it's one of my favorites, It's made from the inside out, Usually containing imitation crab meat, avacado and cucumber. I think its called the california roll as its most americanized. The most foreign thing about it is the seaweed and the roe if added.

Rainbow roll

Rainbow Roll - I guess its named for the fact that its various colors! This is a type of sushi that consists of its inside being crab meat avacado and cucumber and various types of sashimi on top of it, (Sashimi being raw fish) Be it tuna, salmon or yellowtail. Looks really good.

Hotate

Live Scallop or Hotate roll - John and I were looking at the menu and trying to figure out what "Live Scallop" meant exactly, we both made the assumption that maybe the scallop was alive when served. So out of curiosity I looked it up. It's the softest sushi of the shellfish category and is supposedly quite sweet, due to it having a very high glycogen level. It's a higher price I noticed to of all the rolls on the menu at $10.00 for 2.

Uni

Uni Roll - or better known as Sea urchin roe (roe being eggs) looks really creepy doesnt it, but I think its one of the ones I will have to try tomorrow being it looking very bizarre, I try everything once! A reviewer described the texture of it being like that of sand, despite it looking ...creamy.

Salmon roe

Salmon Roe - or Salmon eggs! Each of the eggs is soaked in soy sauce and rice wine to take away its extremely fishy flavor but even then it still has a strong taste, so they add cucumber and quail egg to act as neutralizers.
When examples of sushi are used, this often seems to show up due to it being very artistic looking and exotic.

Waasaabii

Wasabi - Whenever you see sushi you will almost always see this near it or next to it, lets call it a condiment for sushi, next to soy sauce, This is a very spicy paste which even added a tiny bit can really kick of the flavor of any sushi and should be added lightly unless you can handle hot things. If you've ever had chinese mustard, just imagine it in a solid form. I love hot food, but this just isnt for me. I think its more the flavor then the flame.

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Sadbird

I've been in such a mood lately, so sullen, depressed like nothing in my life could really get any worse,
Like if someone was going to open fire somewhere, I would be the first person to jump on someone because
I really don't care what happens to me.

Dan and I broke up. I finally have the guts to open up about it. We have our differences but we're very close, and we always will be, we still love each other but, we just need a break. I dont know if we'll get back together again or what, but im leaving relationships alone for now. I havn't been single in so long, I dont even know what it feels like anymore.

This is what I feel like when I wake up, like someone just ran over my dog or something.

The only time I actually feel positive is when I come home from work, and I get to relax in front of the tv or something,
that or im thinking about my future, I cant stand my present situation, but I know things will be better for me in the future, and I think thats what keeps me going.

Staypositive

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11-orianthi-god_only_knows

Orianthi

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Migraine!

Physical that is. Having a serious migraine right now. Also on my period which doesnt help. Which might explain the migraine.

Its like my body's way of saying, if your not having cramps, you have to have a headache.
You don't have a choice of not having pain, it's either one or the other.

I'd take the day off but I dont have anymore sick days and apparently in order to keep my insurance,
I can't have any days off work. This sucks.

Forbiddenfoods

So yeah, I gained a few more pounds than I would have liked. So im back on the diet thing again.
I didn't terribly gain, just enough where if I work at it, It shouldn't be hard to lose.

This is my one goal for the year, and I really want to accomplish it.
I know that if I get down to a certain point my body will eventually stop gaining.
That's what I want to get to, for instance if I get down to 145 or so my body will probably retain that.

Yesterday I had a bunch of rice cakes, they taste like communion wafers but they fill me up.
So I really dont care.

Social anxiety

I've been having a lot going on in my life lately,
I met this guy online, for now I'll just refer to him by his usernm - Bitwarrior,

He lives in Connecticut,  likes video games, into computers, rpgs and such, like myself.
Hes really nice, We've been talking on and off through e-mails for a few months.

Mostly about games and the struggles we're going through in our lives.

Now your probably thinking "What's Dan thinking about this" Im pretty sure he's ok with it.
He has female friends, so I can have male friends.

Bit wants to meet me so we can hang out, play some games what not.

I would like to meet him however, I come to find I've developed this ...phobia I guess of meeting new people.
So add that to Thunder, lightning and now Meeting new people.

I guess im just afraid it might be terribly awkward and he may never want to talk to me again.

Im the type of person who will say something and everyone either goes dead silent or someone will be like

OH YEAH.. heh.

This is becoming a problem, I'd like to meet new people and make friends but I can't break out of my shell.
I guess im afraid of the commitment which is why I have only 2 real people I can actually confide in.

Which speaking of that, meeting new people.

Magic groups

  I am so so proud of Dan, He's really confident, while at the same time he has a phobia similar to myself, he is able to break out of his shell easily and manage to talk to people with confidence. I admire him for that.
In a way im jealous of him.

He recently joined a gaming group at CCRI that plays Magic.
I really wish I could go with him because it seems fun but I have the feeling that I would be just stuck on him like glue or again just really socially awkward.

Not to mention I can't seem to grasp the concept of Magic.

 Dan tried to teach me but I just dont get it. Either that or I cant hold interest long enough to get it.
See it'd be easy to socialize because magic would be the topic of choice.
But how can I talk about something I don't even know how to play?

Im trying to find a youtube video that might explain easier.

  I found this one, its part of a series on how to play, though I might need headphones to hear it better.

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Uhwhat

Ive come to the conclusion that, for the time being, im not going to be using facebook or myspace for awhile.

I dont know why but I find myself really depressed, when I go to either or, just seeing people go to school and hearing them talk about things their doing in their lives.

Its just a lot for me to take.

For that reason im not going to be using either sites for whatever amount of time I need.

Its not that I dont feel happy for my friends, I just need to focus on me and my future and not so much as what I can do in comparison to them and what they are doing.

Im going to continue to update this, and my twitter, which can also be seen on facebook.

http://twitter.com/Cynicalkitty

Feel free to follow me if you like. Also if you reply to my status's on facebook I will get them =), and will reply back via twitter. 

I can also be contacted by e-mail: Annabell_Scorpione@yahoo.com

or feel free to comment.

I will get back to you in either form =)

Thanks, guys.

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I've been twitter wayyy too much, it's kind of addicting, I used to make fun of everyone who did it, but I kind of see the appeal now. Short little updates about things in your life. =p.

It's 1:00am my parents just got home from Aruba, I actually missed them. Finally Luna can stop whining for someone to play with her who wont be completely exhausted from work.

Fauxplugs

I just bought these from a girl on Etsy, I've always loved the look of plugs but I never quite liked the idea of giant holes in my ears, that will never shrink.

Not only that but I like earrings in general =), So when I saw this girl's store, I jumped on these.

These are fake plugs, for people who like the look but not the aftermath, its a plug thats split in half but it connects in the middle, so there is a hole in one end of the plug and a post in the other. They attach so it looks like a plug but isnt.

I thought these were quite cute.

I've become such an etsy addict. I have 25 ++ feedback now.
I wish I could make things and sell them. Im kind of jealous of a lot of artists on here.

I bought a really cute pair of cat ears too to wear to the halloween party at work. I'll take a picture and post it at some point. They look awesome on me ^_^

Swarbracelet

Bought this a couple of weeks ago, made by a seller on etsy, silver plated wiring with swarovski crystallized elements, It looks a lot shinier in person. Definetely one of my more favorite purchases.

04 Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One [Ft. Taylor Swift]

Boys Like Girls

Like this song. I had no idea boys like girls released a new album.
 

Demons Don't Dream (Xanth)

Piers Anthony

Everything Asian: A Novel

Sung J. Woo

Another book I got off BandN.com Its newer so I didn't get it for as cheap a price as I got Demons dont dream ($5.00)
It's about this kid who is Asian, doesn't speak English but his family migrates to America to live with his dad, they run a store called East meets West. I like reading books about my culture, even if its not Thai specific.

Turning Japanese

Cathy Yardley

  I've been buying a lot of books of BandN.com because I can get them for super cheap used and they look, brand new. This book is about a girl who is half Asian/half American, she wins a contest to draw manga and moves to Japan, leaving behind her fiance and her life. To live with a crazy asian family and fulfill her dream to draw manga?
Havn't read it yet but it sounds good.

Twenty Fragments of a Ravenous Youth: A Novel

Xiaolu Guo

Got this one, which I still havnt received yet, and im a little concerned about it, It's been 12 days since I put the order in, It's about this girl who becomes homeless, and sees this tragedy happen this family and she decides to live in their house, she finds little odd jobs in the mean time to make money like being an extra on a set or a waitress. It just sounds good =). 

The Michael Jackson Tapes: A Tragic Icon Reveals His Soul in Intimate Conversation

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

Remember that bitch, yes bitch. Who ripped me off, I was suppose to get this book for $15.98 but she never sent it to me. I sent Paypal an e-mail telling them I never got my package nor my money, and I filed for mail fraud against her.
I found her address and phone number on google and I submitted them both to the US postal service.

Paypal pretty much took a month to process my claim, but it was worth it because I got my money back.
Now I know better to look at feedback before I blindly buy anything from a used book seller.

Her feedback on BandN.com is atrocious. It was my first time buying a book on there and I didn't even check.

Catz Books and More 4 less AKA Linda Flores from Goosecreek SC.

DO NOT BUY ANYTHING FROM HER, She will rip you off. She'll take your money and run.

If you send her an e-mail she'll send you back a reply talking about health problems or being in the hospital.
Don't believe her bullshit.
Because guess what, I bought this book a month ago, and have yet to receive it.

If you have health issues or this is too much to deal with, then you shouldn't be selling to people if you can't fulfill.

Ok so I need to take my sleeping meds and wait for them to kick in, might read, might post tomorrow, dunno.
=p

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